A Big Change
two nights ago, I lost the ability to step, or stand, even with the walker. I also experienced shaking in my left arm and hand. In an instant I lost my limited already mobility. I called my nurse and she came in the morning first thing. By that evening a hospital bed came to my door and I now live in the bed. I am not dying today, but it could be tomorrow, or it could be two months or longer.
Painting Birds
to make the most of each day, I have picked up my paintbrush again, this time watercolor and started painting more birds. one example is the picture above. Its a sort of a cartoon bird and I have now painted 107 birds. My plan is to paint 200 birds so everyone who comes to my funeral can take a bird. My daughter, Christie. laughed at my plan for “funeral favors”. I may be starting a new thing! many thanks to Mom who helps me get my painting set up for me each day.
My experience on Hospice
My decision to stop treatment and go on hospice is not the right decision for every cancer patient, but for me it has been wonderful. It’s been wonderful because I don’t feel sick, just stuck! I’m not puking with diarrhea in an ICU room at the hospital, just sitting up in bed at home with my husband whose company has been great to let him work from home, and my daughter who comes and goes to work. I also have my Mom who came to visit with me. there is something to be said about quality over quantity. I don’t want to be a burden to my family and they assure me I’m not. I hope I don’t live too long being this dependent, but I am sure loving my days in what many may see as a horrible way to live. I am not dying today so I will plan to make the most of each day.
The best thing that happened today
This afternoon, the facilitator of my support group, Catherine, showed up at my front door with a chocolate milkshake from “Henry’s”, a local ice-cream store, and a cinnamon roll from, “cinnaholics.” (a local bakery)!” She brought enough for me and my family! I wish I had taken a picture of her with me. It was so thoughtful of her and definitely the best experience of the day.