A Big Change
two nights ago, I lost the ability to step, or stand, even with the walker. I also experienced shaking in my left arm and hand. In an instant I lost my limited already mobility. I called my nurse and she came in the morning first thing. By that evening a hospital bed came to my door and I now live in the bed. I am not dying today, but it could be tomorrow, or it could be two months or longer.
Painting Birds
to make the most of each day, I have picked up my paintbrush again, this time watercolor and started painting more birds. one example is the picture above. Its a sort of a cartoon bird and I have now painted 107 birds. My plan is to paint 200 birds so everyone who comes to my funeral can take a bird. My daughter, Christie. laughed at my plan for “funeral favors”. I may be starting a new thing! many thanks to Mom who helps me get my painting set up for me each day.
My experience on Hospice
My decision to stop treatment and go on hospice is not the right decision for every cancer patient, but for me it has been wonderful. It’s been wonderful because I don’t feel sick, just stuck! I’m not puking with diarrhea in an ICU room at the hospital, just sitting up in bed at home with my husband whose company has been great to let him work from home, and my daughter who comes and goes to work. I also have my Mom who came to visit with me. there is something to be said about quality over quantity. I don’t want to be a burden to my family and they assure me I’m not. I hope I don’t live too long being this dependent, but I am sure loving my days in what many may see as a horrible way to live. I am not dying today so I will plan to make the most of each day.
The best thing that happened today
This afternoon, the facilitator of my support group, Catherine, showed up at my front door with a chocolate milkshake from “Henry’s”, a local ice-cream store, and a cinnamon roll from, “cinnaholics.” (a local bakery)!” She brought enough for me and my family! I wish I had taken a picture of her with me. It was so thoughtful of her and definitely the best experience of the day.
Julie Matteson says
Thank you for sharing my friend. My sweet husband only had Hospice care for two weeks, we thought they were all just wonderful, especially the social worker. Much love.💜
Heather says
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mobility Julie, but I continue to be amazed by how wonderfully you use your time. I’m glad you are still painting- what a gift you are leaving for so many who love you.
Praying for continued good days for you that you can enjoy with your friends and family.
Love, Heather
Gemie Martin says
I love your bird Julie!!! I hope to see them all sometime. You and your family are in my prayers and I am in awe of all you accomplish! You are so talented! Sorry to hear you have lost your mobility. Know that you are loved and admired by so many! I love you!
Cindy Pelzar Kornreich says
My favorite is the little girl, but I have said that many times through the years. Now you have branched out to birds, which I find very difficult to paint. Maybe the little girl with a cardinal on her shoulder? May I ask what kind of paint you are using and if are you painting on canvas? I will always cherish “The Little Girl” because the little girl is you. <3
Julie Shill says
I always paint the girl pictures with acrylic on canvas. Now I’m using watercolors with the watercolor pens you can fill with water. I paint on watercolor cardStock postcards. It is much less messy and I can paint in bed.thank you for thinking of me.
Andrea Smith says
Your bird is beautiful! I think you are underestimating your funeral attendance, You might want to need 500! ❤️
Claudia Jensen says
Hello Julie, I wrote to you once before. You don’t know me, your sister Cherrie knows who I am. I wrote to you about loosing my friend Teresa to cancer, 2 years ago. I LOVE your bird! It makes me think of “flying Home”, to our Father. And it also reminds me of Teresa “flying Home”. You are very talented and generous. I know I will never get one of your paintings because we don’t e even know each other but, I would love it if you paint one of your birds blue. That is my favorite color, it is a peaceful color and it would make your bird very elegant and beautiful, the way I imagine you.
I can’t believe that you are putting all your efforts into creating gifts for your funeral attendees! That is generosity at it’s best! I have a sister, she lives in Argentina, our homeland. and she is very, very generous too. She gives away anything she has if you need it and she makes gifts all the time. She knits, she is an artist at knitting. I think that is why I write to you, because you remind me of my amazing sister, Patty. I hope you keep having wonderful moments every day. Hugs from an unknown friend, Claudia. ♥️
Julie Shill says
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I know I would love you and your sister. Thank you for your kind words.
Todd says
Oh my goodness!! And as I write that the thought hits me that “you are goodness”. I’m struggling to see my screen through the tears. Your words and the spirit of them embody the essence of the teachings of the Savior. Always calm, peaceful and full of hope for the future, the long term future. We’ve never met, I’m just a fellow traveler on life’s journey who follows this absolutely beautiful and poignant account of your life. It inspires, lifts and encourages me. Thank you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You got this! Everything will be ok.
With love,
TH❤️
PS 200 may be a bit short… but that’s ok, there will be plenty of other gifts that will come via the Spirit! Each customised for the recipient!!! You go “red dress girl”!!!
Julie Shill says
Thank you Todd! Thank you for finding me! Life is beautiful
To me where where ever I dwell.I have a lot of love and support to help me keep living. Find something joyful today.
Loyd Campbell says
Julie, you have been a hero to me for a long time. Heavenly Father has a special place for you. From that place you will be able to inspire your family and others to be as generous as you have been; as courageous as you; as brave as you; as loving as you; as inspiring as you. I love your bird and know I will love the other thousand you will leave for your funeral-goers (whether in person, virtually, or through prayers). I love you Julie Shill!
Can I come see you, and when would be the best time?
Julie Shill says
Thank you for your kind words. You are welcome anytime. Send me a private Message on Facebook and I can give you a number
Jeff Mills says
Julie, you always amaze me with your positive attitude and spunk.
מחפשים דירות דיסקרטיות בראשון לציון ? says
You should be a part of a contest for one of the greatest blogs online. I am going to recommend this site!
Shawna says
Julie,
Your Curt forwarded your latest update to my Kirt. (: You continue to be an inspiration to us! Love you
Phil and Elizabeth Mancil says
Oh Julie,
You are loved and remembered in our family each day and each time we pray. I measure success in life by what you leave. Your family is so wonderful and a reflection of their parents. I remember our times together with fondness. Heating resisters in the oven and making sound disappear. You are the mother every child would want! Keep it up and always remember who you are.
Love, Phil and Elizabeth
נערות ליווי תל אביב says
I would like to thank you for the efforts youve put in writing this blog. Im hoping to view the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal blog now 😉