In two weeks my community cancer support group will finish reading Brene Brown’s, Rising Strong. I really enjoy the book club at the cancer support community because it allows us to discuss themes and issues we may not otherwise discuss without the structure of the book club. Read on for my Rising Strong book review.
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My Rising Strong book review
Rising Strong builds upon her previous books, Daring Greatly and the Gifts of Imperfection. However, I found it can stand alone as well. So if you have never read a Brene Brown book, you will not be lost reading this one. In previous books she talks about having the courage to be vulnerable, take risks and being willing to fail. She talks about being successful by being “in the arena”. In Rising Strong, she discusses what to do next after you have fallen “flat on your face on the arena floor.” How to process the feelings and start again. The book shares different examples of when people fell down and were able to rise again stronger. I particularly enjoyed reading about one man’s failure at work and how he bravely took responsibility and faced those at work who he had failed.
This book is for anyone who takes risks, sets goals and has an idea of where they want to be. It is for those whose lives took an unexpected turn because of failure, loss, or any unexpected barrier. It is for anyone who finds themselves in a place they never expected to be and needs to do a “reset” on their lives. Unless you live in a bubble, never make any mistakes, or never experience discouragement or pain, I believe the book is for you. Here is a link to the paperback version of Rising Strong at Amazon. The paperback version has questions in the back of the book you could use if you have a book club that decides to read it. Read it for yourself and write your own Rising Strong book review.
Empathy for others
I remember one insight from the book that we discussed in our group. Using the arena analogy, we discussed the idea that when you are lying flat on your face on the arena floor, you notice others on the floor and have more empathy for them. We talked about how having cancer makes us more empathetic to others struggling with chronic health concerns. I was reminded of how I before cancer I thought I had compassion for people with chronic pain, I just could not understand how chronic pain can suck all the hope away from a person. I was not uncaring before cancer, but I am much more empathetic now. An unexpected gift from a horrible disease.
Losing hope
I follow Brene Brown on facebook and today she posted a link to her blog that discusses how an injury caused her to realize that she was feeling more than just pain from the injury. She said she has been out of sorts since the El Paso shootings. Here is a link to her blog https://brenebrown.com/blog/2019/10/09/doubling-down-on-love/?fbclid=IwAR1FIdssHbeEFBoGS5yHBgQLpM6d9Jz3rOo1tj_QtrKxjFr0oEYtSywNuCo
She wrote this on her blog:
“I couldn’t access hope or possibility. I poisoned every good thing with thoughts of potentially horrible things. I didn’t want to let my family out of my sight, but I didn’t feel like I had much of myself to offer them even when they were within arm’s reach.”
Reading this quote today reminded me of a time I felt that I had lost all hope during my cancer journey. It is a terrifying feeling. It was after I had been successfully treated with the gamma knife for brain tumors, but had an unrelated emergency room visit resulting in a week long hospital stay. After coming home, I began experiencing blurry vision, and unstable emotions. I cried all day for days. I was sure I probably had more brain tumors.
My husband took me for my regular appointment with my oncologist (I see him every 2 weeks). I cried as I told him my symptoms. Dr. Courtney is just unflappable. He processed all of my symptoms and then knelt down in front of me and told me that he thought these symptoms were probably side effects from medicine, but that I needed a brain MRI to rule out new tumors. He expedited this so I could get it the same day at the Emergency Department. Then he looked me in my weepy eyes and said, “you have been fighting and enduring surgeries, treatments, and hospitalizations waiting for things to get better…and it isn’t getting better yet. It is normal to feel discouraged and sad.”
Hope when hope was gone
At that moment I felt some relief because Dr. Courtney seemed to understand and put into words exactly what I was feeling, even when I couldn’t verbalize it myself. He gave me hope when I had none. He gave me a plan for “climbing up off of the arena floor.” I had the MRI and my brain was clear. I stopped taking a medication I was taking for nausea and my symptoms went away. I learned that the best way to help someone who is struggling, or suffering may just be to listen and verbalize what they must be feeling. Knowing someone else understands or even just hears you is so soothing when you have no hope.
Joy, hope and love
Another thing Brene Brown talked about on her blog was that if you don’t have joy, you don’t have hope. And if you don’t have hope, you can’t love. So again it all comes back to finding joy. I thought about what brought me joy today. Breakfast in bed lovingly made for me by my husband. A clean house. My friend Marina cleaned it today and I felt such joy sitting in my chair smelling the clean floors and looking out on a clean room. A contented gut. One side effect of my cancer medication is GI issues and my gut is sensitive. Today I enjoyed a full tummy with yummy food my mother prepared for me.
The love of our dog Dobby sitting on my lap. The beautiful weather I felt as I went out to run a few errands with my mother. The ability I have to still drive and slowly do some minimal things without help as long as there are drive throughs!
These things brought me joy today. I have hope for tomorrow and I love the people in my life. How about you? What brought you joy today? I have the beautiful gift of time now and I am reading more. To read my review of other books go to my books I’m reading page https://juliesnotdyingtoday.com/books-im-reading/ . This Rising Strong book review reminded me of all the things I have to be grateful for, all of the things I am learning, even as my life turned upside down and I lost everything I thought I needed for a happy future. I was wrong. I can have a fulfilling life full of joy. It just doesn’t look like what I thought it would. It may even turn out better than what I imagined.