Operation Humpty Dumpty is fully engaged. Surgery date to repair my broken upper left leg and my almost broken upper right arm has been set for August 1st, 2018. I spent a couple of days thinking about my situation and the upcoming surgery. I had some waves of grief that I don’t have a healthy body. I have a broken body and am very sick even though I look great. I felt some dread and anxiety about another surgery and rehab. It started to became overwhelming and then you came and ministered to me with a steady stream of amazing acts of service that helped me stop worrying. So I got to the work of preparing and rallying the troops. I have written previously about legacy. Me leaving a legacy, but also the legacy that I have received from my ancestors. One legacy that I have received from my ancestors is the principal of work. My family and extended family all have a strong worth ethic that comes from our pioneer ancestors who had to work or die. I recently read a facebook post from my cousin who owns a house that she rents. Apparently her tenants completely trashed the house and the damage was extensive. I read about how my independent and hard working cousin felt overwhelmed as she looked at the enormity of the clean up and repairs that needed to be done. She wrote with gratitude about asking a friend for help and the amazing work she and others did to repair the home. It reminded me that Heavenly Father wants me to ask for help too. It can be hard to ask for help for fiercely independent people like me and my cousin. I am learning to just get over it. I still value the principal of hard work, but I don’t have to do it alone.
So I opened my computer and sent an email to some friends for help with preparing meals because it is hard for me to stand and prepare meals now, and will be as I go through the rehab process. I was overwhelmed to have 14 women immediately volunteer telling me they wanted to help. I decided that since I am now eating whole food plant based meals (WFPB) it would he harder for people to know what to prepare so I decided on recipes I knew I liked and had another friend purchase the ingredients from the store for me. Yet another friend came over and helped me create recipe and ingredient kits like the home meal prep delivery things you see advertised. Easy Peasy! They all came by the house, picked up a kit to prepare and freeze, and now I’ll have amazing squash soup, chick pea noodle soup, and sweet potato muffins for days and days. And I was so surprised to learn another friend had started eating WFPB food like me! She brought me these almond chocolate truffles from the “How Not to Die Cookbook” (pg. 187). I had not tried that recipe. THEY WERE GREAT! They are made with dates, cashews, almond butter, cocoa powder, and vanilla. She brought over this “No tuna” salad from the “Eat To Live” website and I ate it tonight. I’ll need to look it up because it was AMAZING!!! She said it has chick peas, Tahini, celery, pickles, onions, and capers. I told her that I would lick her plate of any leftovers whenever she had any! I heard again and again how happy people were to have something they could do to help me. One woman said when she read my email asking for volunteers she said, “pick me, pick me!” I am overwhelmed. I am learning that sometimes all you have to do is ask for help. I do not have to suffer alone because I am not alone. It is a constant theme I am learning again and again. I am one blessed woman.
I have written about how I prayed to know how I should feed my body and what I should eat. I am now praying about what I should feed my mind and soul. This cancer is tricky. I had pain from my nephrectomy surgery, then hip replacement, then spine, etc. etc. and I wondered if I would ever feel normal again……and then, I felt good! I could drive a car again! no pain, almost normal and then in an instant it seems, I have a new struggle. I was enjoying having some independence, and creating a new sort of life with the freedom to get in the car, go grocery shopping, you know normal stuff. Now I am home bound and just waiting for the next surgery. The TV shows are all the same and they just distract me and suck away without offering me any nourishment or healing for my mind and soul. When I am sad, they offer me nothing. I had a visit recently from a friend I had not visited for a while. She is a musician. She gave me a card with a message of hope, and we just visited. While talking with her I was reminded of how much the Lord has blessed me and given me comfort through music. For the past 2 days I have not turned on the morning show TV blah blah blah and instead listened to music that uplifts. Secular motivating, pop, country, folk, as well as Mormon Tabernacle Choir, other spiritual music including various Christian artists, and my sister Cherie Call’s music. It is nourishment just as important for my healing as the food I am eating. I am spending more time reading scripture. I am enjoying visiting with friends via text, and in person. I told one busy working friend that she could help me by texting me something that would make me smile. Could be a quote, or uplifting meme, a favorite scripture, or just a funny utube cat video. I have 5 more days of pain, and empty quiet in my home to get through until my next surgery, and I don’t want to get sucked down into a bad place again in my mind. I have laughed and smiled everyday as I read what she sends me. I cannot be sad and read her texts at the same time. What a precious gift.
So for operation Humpty Dumpty, we’ve got the food planned for physical nourishment, I am working on filling my mind and soul with uplifting music and thoughts. And my hair stylist friend Effy covered the “looking good” part of the preparation. Yesterday she came to my home and cut my hair. Because if I look good I feel good. Thank you Effy (excuse the blurry picture).
I treasure every visit, text, card, meal, and act of service. When I write about things you have done for me I am not writing about every thing. There are other things happening, and I just can’t list them all. It isn’t about a list anyway. Although service can be many different things, it all has one thing in common, Love. You are sharing your love, and reminding me of God’s love. I am learning from all of you how to minister to others. This new Fresh Hell I am experiencing is constant pain, being homebound, having nothing but time but being physically unable to do the things I would normally do to stay busy. I am ready for my upcoming surgery and look forward to it. I am not afraid, I am finished being sad for the moment, and want to thank you all for being part of my Operation Humpty Dumpty team. I look forward to eventually being free of pain, until the next thing comes up. But when it does, I know I can ask for help and you will be there. What an amazing thing to know. I do not have the words to express my gratitude.