Health Update
I have a health update that is a little sad. While on hospice, I agreed to do a study with the hospice doctor that involved giving blood every so often. They took blood and tested it and found that my hemoglobin was very low. I went to the hospital and had three blood transfusions. With further testing they found that my cancer has spread to my upper bowel, causing a slow leak of blood. They looked at all of the options and felt that there was nothing safe enough to do to the tumor causing the leak. I came home to enjoy my family. I will die eventually from anemia, but that is not a bad way to go. It should be painless. I will just get tired and go to sleep. I am at peace with this as I was worried I would have a painful death.
Many visitors have come to see me. I told the relief society president ( head of women’s group at church) that I welcome visitors as long as they are not sick, and would appreciate it if the visit is short, 30 minutes is good. I had a very good visit with my bishop and felt his love and support. My family has been and continues to be wonderful. They love me and support me with whatever I need. I have prepared with them everything I can think of that will need to be done after I pass.
Red dress girl
Hospice is wonderful! My favorite thing is the volunteers. They send a volunteer and we paint together. I had my first session a couple of weeks ago and will paint again tomorrow. I am not an artist and usually copy an image from google images, then add my own personal touch. I painted the painting above and added the girl in the red dress to surf the wave. After I painted it, I decided that the wave is my cancer that will surely overtake me, but I am going to ride it and enjoy it for as long as I can. A few years ago I had painted different paintings of the girl in the red dress in a forest, in a snow storm, leaning on a tree in pain, carrying a heavy sword, climbing a large rock, doing and enduring hard things, etc.
A beautiful song
I have an amazingly talented sister who is a singer songwriter. She wrote a song about me and called it, Red dress girl. Here is a link to the song. I am so touched by it and amazed at the beauty. Thank you Cherie, I love you! And I love all of you reading this blog. My wonderful friends. My life is better because of all of you.
Claudia E. Jensen says
Hello Julie,
I have known about you and the sickness that you have been battling for a while, because I know your sister, we used to live in the same ward in Springville, and I read her posts. I listened to her song for you, and I felt love for her and for you! You are an amazing warrior, a valiant soul. I had a friend that battle her illness also like a true warrior, she left us almost two years ago, on July 7! I went to see her every day during her last months, and she told me on my birthday (July 6), “I am not leaving today Claudia, it’s your birthday “. So, silently, effortlessly, she left on the 7th.
I tell you this because you seem to be that kind of warrior, the kind that thinks about everything and everyone, and by doing that the unintended collateral gain is more love from everyone and a memory that will stay with us, on Earth until we all meet again.
I will never meet you Julie, but thanks to your lovely sister and her song (I just LOVE her talents, songwriting, singing, performing), I got to read your blog and I can wish you a good ride, not only of that wave that has the duty to take you but, a good ride through the gate, to The Light that awaits you to embrace you with Eternal Love!
Carma W says
Thanks for sharing all your concerns and your upbeat attitude. You have my love and prayers for an easy transition to the next life, where you will be pain free.
TH says
Thank you. Your story is inspirational and makes me want to be better at each of the roles I have in my life. You are in my thoughts and prayers!! You can do this!! Twirl!!鉂わ笍鉂わ笍
Julie says
In honor of you I will be pulling out the paint and brushes dedicating time to reflect and create on canvas.
Thank you Julie馃檹 God Bless you馃檹
Andrea Smith says
Love you Julie.
Amanda Oliver says
I have never met you personally Julie, but wanted to tell you that your shared experiences have blessed and helped me to through my own challenges. You are so loved. I鈥檓 grateful your prayers are being answered. May your memory be a blessing and may you receive all the blessings you need at this time. Thank you for sharing your mighty light.
Love, a distant friend.
Heather Olsen says
Dear Julie,
I am so sad reading this news, but grateful that your fears of a painful death can be abated. You have given such a gift Julie, since you were first diagnosed, of taking terrifying things and making them not so scary anymore. I鈥檝e been blessed so profoundly by your thoughts and the things you鈥檝e learned. I know if and when my time comes to face something like this, it will be your words that guide me.
I hope that you will feel the wave of love surrounding you now.
Gemie Martin says
So sorry to hear this sad news Julie. I wanted to tell you of my love and admiration for you. Our emotional resilience group was a better place for your presence. You have touched and changed so many of us for the better. I am glad you will not have pain as you leave this life. I can imagine such a beautiful place that the girl in the red dress will be going to.
Kjirstin Youngberg says
Friend after young friend has left this mortal home in the past few months, and I was thinking I just couldn’t take losing another person from my life…but I’m reminded none of us escapes…it’s just how we choose to go.
Your journey has brought me peace and understanding in ways I’d never envisioned. Cherie’s song to you may be her best yet. It’s so personal. It hits every hurt, and makes it better. May you have joy on your journey.
Oh! Our daughter arranged a hymn and recorded it for one of her album’s one Mother’s Day, dedicated to those of us who have lost children. It starts as a dirge; the slow march to death, and then, as the soul is quickened when the angels come, you can almost feel it. As sad as it is, it never fails to bring me joy. We count it ALL joy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YiXM5DjM6k I hope it will help you, too, Julie. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
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